The other night I hung out with a group of friendly folks and watched their kitten destroy small balls of foil, and then watched hockey followed by tiny girls throwing themselves bodily around an ice rink whilst dressed in sequins. It was fun. It amazes me how different watching sports in a group is from watching it alone. Before now I never actually understood the act of watching sporting events on television (playing sports I get – but also don’t do) but now I think I understand the national compulsion. I mean, I’m not going to be going down the pub to watch the game with the boys any time soon, but I think I sort of understand why so many people do.
I say I hung out with “friendly folks” because I’m in that delicate in-between stage where I’m new in town and only know a few people; those people are introducing me to their respective crowds, but I don’t know if I can presume anybody specifically in those crowds to be “friends” quite yet, you know? Many of them are extremely awesome, but I don’t want to be the strange party-crasher either, so it’s delicate. I’ve never actually figured out where the point is when you’re suddenly friends as opposed to acquaintances, so I’m trying not to be rude. Is it once you’ve texted somebody more than once? Emailed them about something non-specific? Been invited separately to something, or invited them? Once you know which cupboard their mugs are kept in? Is it incredibly awkward – or very creepy – to just call them up and ask them for coffee? “Hey, you seem cool. Wanna hang out?” That’s how I got my first best friend in Grade 8, and she was creeped out. Of course, she still did agree to hang out with me, probably to get me to shut up and go away, but it worked out in the end. There’s a lesson there, but I’m not sure if it was that she should have run screaming in the other direction, or that I should try and be more subtle.
I don’t know. All the friends that I’ve made in the past few years have been through going for beers after a rant-fueled socialist organizational meetings of some sort, so I’m really not up on group-friendship-hangout-etiquette quite yet.
Basically, though, I’ve been doing stuff with awesome people, new and old, and I’m very much enjoying their company – they’re all funny and generous and fairly awesome; I’ve only been in town for short time and I’ve done more random shit in a week here than I did in a month in Kingston. That may be due to the Olympics, but it might also be due to Vancouver. I’ll take it, either way.
In related news, last night I went and had sushi with another old friend, and we hung out and listened to hockey in the background, and I stayed up past my bedtime and now I am tired. But oh, fresh fish, I have missed you so. If there is anything better than fresh west-coast seafood, I don’t even need to know. Tonight, I’m going to see Jonathan Coulton with Kimli, which will be hilariously fun - her date couldn’t make it, and I get to be his last-minute stand-in. I will try to be useful.
4 Comments
I have a hard delineation between friends and acquaintances: An acquaintance will help you move; a friend will help you move a body.
I try not to abuse it. :-)
Right, friend?
I’ll be at JC tonight, too — you should find me and say “HEY LOOK IT’S DONNA!” :D
Yay new people!
Having moved to Vancouver just over 4 years ago ourselves, we took a very direct approach to the friend making – we simply invited everyone we thought was cool out to whatever we could. Coffee, dinner, large parties. I really do mean everyone – our favorite pub waitress was even in the extended social circle before she moved out of town, and hairdressers and neighbours have been included along the way. Sometimes they don’t come (and we therefore assume they were creeped out, which they probably were) – but the benefits far outweigh the cons, and now there are so many fantastic people! You haven’t even met many of them yet – there are a couple parties coming up though, so you will :)
As for the lot of us, we like you! You get a free pass! You don’t smell funny, haven’t thrown any inappropriate fits, and don’t appear to be easily scandalized. Please don’t feel like the strange party crasher with any of us – we like you, and are happy to have you around.
Looking forward to getting to know you better!
Gord: The last time I helped you hide a body you made me do, like, 90% of the shoveling. Is that truly the act of a friend?
Donna: Absolutely! :)
Miranda: Yay! I’ll just ignore my vague feelings of social awkwardness, and stop worrying about scaring y’all, then =) (And I’ll try and remember to bathe regularly…)